Can you control your thoughts, or are you at their mercy? Do you know your inner saboteur? Can you harness the power of your thoughts and stay focused in important situations?
In my latest blog post, I share what fulfilled people, successful leaders and elite athletes do to stay mentally focused and consciously draw on their strengths. The good news? There are tools we can all use to build mental strength.
More and more people come to me with challenges related to mental strength. Very often, the issue is setting boundaries: How do I protect myself from ever-increasing demands? How do I stay true to myself when dealing with a colleague who constantly undermines me? Just as often, the challenge is focus: How do I concentrate on what really matters without getting constantly distracted? How do I deal with self-doubt and critical thoughts in important situations?
When addressing these challenges, I mainly draw on tools for managing our thoughts. We've all read about the «happiest» people in the world, such as monks who meditate. Meditation is one form of training our ability to manage our thoughts. But what does that actually mean? Just as you go to the gym to train your muscles, it's equally important to train your mind and learn to guide your thoughts. Mental training explores questions such as:
💭 Do you recognise your thoughts and thought patterns? Do you know where they come from?
🕹️ Can you actively influence and even direct your thoughts?
🥷 Can you quieten self-doubt and replace it with empowering thoughts?
Tip 1: Get to know your thoughts 💭 📖
The one-week thought journal challenge
Although we «hear» our thoughts constantly, it's surprising how little we actually work with them or use them to our advantage. It's almost as if we have no control over what happens in our minds.
Self-help guides often recommend meditation as a way to quieten our thoughts. In my experience, this works for very few people. Instead, I encourage you to observe your thoughts mindfully.
What thoughts do you have in different situations? Which ones keep recurring or seem particularly persistent? When does self-doubt creep in? Which people trigger negative thoughts in you, and which ones bring out the best in you?
Write down your thoughts for at least one week (the longer, the better). What patterns do you notice? Are there situations in which certain types of thoughts, such as destructive ones, occur more frequently? Why might that be?
Tip 2: Take control of your thoughts 💭 🕹️
Defining moments and empowering thoughts
Did you know that your thoughts influence how you feel? The way you interpret a situation plays a key role in the emotions you experience. Thoughts such as «I won't be able to do this» or «I'm not sufficiently prepared» can trigger self-doubt and uncomfortable feelings that undermine your performance.
The reverse is also true. Positive thoughts such as «This is what I'm meant to do. I've got this» can generate emotions that support you and your performance, for example by triggering the release of dopamine.
That's why it's essential to take an active role in guiding your thoughts before and during the defining moments that matter to you. These might include an exam or sporting competition, an investor presentation or telling someone you love them.
Here's how:
List your defining moments.
Formulate your empowering thoughts.
Practise thinking these thoughts and notice how they affect your emotions.
Consciously activate your empowering thoughts before and during these defining moments.
Tip 3: Silence your saboteur 💭 🥷
Build a positive inner counterpart
In addition to Tip 2, you may discover that you have an inner saboteur. An internal troublemaker that tends to show up in challenging situations, telling you that you're not good enough, that you can't do it and that you never will.
What's the difference compared with Tip 2? These thought patterns are consistently negative and limiting. In most cases, your inner saboteur is fuelled by past experiences, doubts and fears. Over time, these patterns become hardwired in your brain as habits (or, to put it in neurophysiological terms, dominant associations).
That's why it's important to recognise your saboteur and learn to quieten its voice. With practice, you can build a positive inner counterpart using empowering thoughts (as described in Tip 2). Give this inner player a name and a mental image, then call on it whenever your saboteur needs to step aside.
In this video, I explain the concept of «mental players» step by step (currently available in English).
Successful leaders, elite athletes and mentally strong people work with the questions and tools outlined above. They learn to recognise their thoughts, understand their patterns and actively guide them by keeping their saboteur in check and activating their positive inner counterpart.
This approach to managing your thoughts is a first step towards strengthening your inner power. It helps you set boundaries in difficult situations and stay focused on your goals. And ultimately, it enables you to walk your own path with confidence.
More resources on mental strength:
Video: Life hack #1: Boost your mental strength. Confidence through a simple thought-control model (currently available in English)
Workbook: Mental Power