Making a decision under pressure

A client came to me on the recommendation of a former client. She was facing a career decision and had only a few days to make it. A concrete job offer was on the table. Her current role was exciting, she was valued, successful and secure. The new opportunity, however, represented a major step forward. One she fundamentally felt capable of taking, but which also triggered considerable anxiety. For weeks, she had been going back and forth. The closer she came to making a decision, the greater her uncertainty became.

Over the course of four days, we worked together in two intensive coaching sessions with one clear objective: to gain perspective, strengthen her confidence and enable her to make a decision that felt right for her.

At the beginning, she talked about the new role and her concerns. Rather than evaluating the decision straight away, we first separated two things: the job opportunity itself and the fears surrounding it. As we explored these fears more closely, something important emerged. They were not new. She had experienced similar feelings during other periods of transition in her life. In other words, her anxiety was not primarily a reaction to this particular opportunity, but part of a recurring pattern. It was connected to transitions and to inner parts of herself that were strongly oriented towards security.

Once this pattern became visible, the fears began to lose some of their power. They became understandable, easier to put into context and, therefore, easier to work with. We also touched on the topic of high sensitivity, which strongly resonated with her.

In the next step, we placed the job opportunity within a broader timeline. We explored how it aligned with her sense of purpose and personal vision. This longer-term perspective helped reassure the part of her that longed for more time and freedom. She realised that the new role fulfilled many of the things she was looking for. She also understood that the part of her that wanted greater freedom and was considering self-employment had a clear place in her longer-term vision. It was not being put off indefinitely, but consciously planned for a later stage.

Next, we defined clear conditions under which she could genuinely see herself taking this step. The vague question, “Should I or shouldn’t I?” became something concrete and assessable. A question that could be separated from her uncertainties and aligned with her long-term vision.

In the end, she made her decision with a clear yes. Not because her fears had disappeared, but because she now understood where they came from, what they meant and, just as importantly, what they did not mean.

We also identified the areas she wanted to continue working on. These included structuring her first 100 days in the new role, strengthening her ability to set boundaries and build resilience, and defining clear exit criteria in case the position turned out not to be the right fit.

This story illustrates what coaching is often really about: the factors that shape our decisions are not always the most obvious ones. Much of what influences us operates beneath the surface. When these underlying dynamics become visible, clarity emerges. And clarity creates the foundation for action. After our very first session, she thanked me with these words: «In this one hour, I learned more than I had in the previous 43 years of my life.»